After Nobel snub, Bush hopes to be judged by the Hague

After a terrifying temper tantrum when he heard that his one time political opponent Al Gore had won the Nobel Prize, President George W. Bush was consoled when he heard the judges at the Hague would be far more likely to vote for him.

When President George W. Bush heard that Al Gore won the Nobel Prize, he terrified White House staff by smashing vases, slapping and kicking any servants that crossed his path and demanding to know why they hadn't bought the prize for him, drinking two bottles of cooking sherry, and refusing to take his psychiatric medications.

By Saturday, his handlers were able to calm him somewhat by sending him on a bike ride and promising he could watch ESPN the rest of the day when he returned.

Bush was enjoying his ride until he stopped to let Secret Service agents dab a bead of sweat from his brow and rehydrate him. Two anti-war protesters jumped from the bushes and shouted, "You should be the first American president judged by the Hague! You're a war---"

Fortunately, they were cut off by taser and pepper spray intervention.

While the protesters were being stripped, hooded, and thrown in the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car following the president, Bush asked his handlers what this "hag" was.

A quick thinking aide told him it was an international prize far more prestigious than the Nobel, and one that no American president has yet won, unlike the Nobel, which had been won by Jimmy Carter and Teddy Roosevelt. Bush asked one of his religious aides, known for not lying, if this was the truth. Not wanting to be berated, beaten, fired, or killed, the aide said, "I have heard that the judges at the Hague would like to...acknowledge what you have done in office."

Bush was confused. "They said something about me being a war something?"

"A war hero," a less scrupulous aide said. "They want to honor what you've done in the Iraq War."

Bush sought to verify this and called the president of the ICC in the Hague for confirmation. Shocked, the chief judge said he could not say what the outcome would be unless President Bush came to be judged in person.

"You have done so much to so many to help so few, we could not possibly address your actions in absentia."

The judge did not realize that Bush's limited English and even weaker grasp of abstract concepts rendered his statement meaningless to Bush, at least after "you have done so much."

He also added that the Hague was in the Netherlands, and it would be a crime to order airstrikes on the judges to influence the outcome.

Bush hung up and asked his minder why the judge thought he was going to bomb someone who wanted to give him a prize.

"Not everyone sees things with the moral clarity you do, sir."

Hey Dumbass, Impeach Bush & Cheney NOW!

EXCERPT:

The survey by the American Research Group found that 45 percent support the US House of Representatives beginning impeachment proceedings against Bush, with 46 percent opposed, and a 54-40 split in favor when it comes to Cheney.

FULL TEXT

According to the Wall Street Journal, support for impeaching Clinton never broke 30% and was two to one AGAINST it even at the peak of 24/7 impeachment coverage (contrast that with the near blackout of impeachment talk about Bush).

How many average people does it take to cancel out the big business interests that like Bush's lax oversight, cronyism, and murder of Iraqis to give their oil to his corporate friends at ExxonMobil, ChevronTexaco, or BP?

Please share this with Pelosi and other Democratic leadership. It would also be a good idea to send this screenshot to Republicans and ask them how many votes they think they are going to get if Bush & Cheney are still in office on election day 2008. Emails are good, but they essentially get scanned for the issue and counted. Better to FAX them. Some staffer has to physically handle it, and the congressman or senator might even see it if they are walking by or waiting for a fax on their golf itinerary from some pharma lobbyist.

Contact others in Congress

We need to make our government fear us more than CEOs and lobbyists, or they will continue to play us for suckers, use our tax dollars and military to seize assets for their corporate cronies, and funnel our kids into the meat grinder to feed the dogs of war.

BUSH VICTORY: final form of OIL law forced on Iraqis

Rather than directly forcing production sharing agreements on Iraqis which would give the bulk of the oil profits to oil corporations, they put oil company executives on the council that approves oil contracts.

That sounds a lot like how the Bush administration runs regulatory agencies here like when he considered Ken Lay for energy secretary and let him pick the director of the FERC, which then did nothing to stop Lay and other energy traders from bilking California out of about $10 billion.

Iraqis may notice this screwing a bit more than Americans noticed our version.

Apparently, the War on Terror means pissing people off enough that we never have a shortage of potential terrorists.

What Iraqi oil workers think of the deal

More Iraqi reaction

KEY EXCERPTS:

Big Oil in, stability out under new Iraqi law
By Antonia Juhasz and Raed Jarrar

RESPECT FOR DEMOCRACY:

A leaked copy of the proposed hydrocarbon law appeared on the Internet at the same time that it was introduced to the Iraqi Council of Ministers (cabinet). The law is expected to go to the Iraqi Council of Representatives within weeks. Yet the Internet version was the first look that most members of Iraq's Parliament had of the new law.

BIG (OIL) BROTHER'S VETO:

The exploration and production contracts give firms exclusive control of fields for up to 35 years, including contracts that guarantee profits for 25 years. A foreign company, if hired, is not required to partner with an Iraqi company or reinvest any of its money in the Iraqi economy. It's not obligated to hire Iraqi workers, train Iraqi workers or transfer technology.

The current law remains silent on the type of contracts that the Iraqi government can use. The law establishes a new Iraqi Federal Oil and Gas Council with ultimate decision-making authority over the types of contracts that will be employed. This council will include, among others, "executive managers from important related petroleum companies". Thus it is possible that foreign oil-company executives could sit on the council. It would be unprecedented for a sovereign country to have, for instance, an executive of ExxonMobil on the board of its key oil-and-gas decision-making body.

The law also does not appear to restrict foreign corporate executives from making decisions on their own contracts. Nor does there appear to be a "quorum" requirement. Thus if only five members of the Federal Oil and Gas Council met - one from ExxonMobil, Shell, ChevronTexaco and two Iraqis - the foreign company representatives would apparently be permitted to approve contacts for themselves.

Under the proposed law, the council has the ultimate power and authority to approve and rewrite any contract using whichever model it prefers if a "two-thirds majority of the members in attendance" agree. Early drafts of the bill, and the proposed model by the US, advocate very unfair, and unconventional for Iraq, models such as production sharing agreements (PSAs), which would set long-term contracts with unfair conditions that may lead to the loss of hundreds of billions of dollars of the Iraqi oil money as profits to foreign companies.

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/IB28Ak02.html

OIL MOTIVE for Iraq War resources
http://professorsmartass.blogspot.com/2006/09/iraq-oil-war-resources.html


iraq war privatization jim mcdermott oil psa production sharing agreement president george w bush oil companies shell bpExxonMobil ChevronTexaco ConocoPhillips republican antonia juhasz greg palast GOP conservative corruption occupation colonialism hydrocarbon law grover norquist jay garner professor smartass iraq peak oil propaganda corporation democracy war on terror public relations worst president ever failure war criminal smartass comments resistance censored news

ZOGBY POLL: 73% say Iraq's oil a factor in the war

A couple of observations on this:

• the number that don't believe is pretty close to those still support Bush and think yard gnomes are idols to worship false gods.
  
  
• more seriously, our elected leaders are not talking about something 73% of Americans know or think.

The Democrats victory last November will be meaningless if they don't bring the real issues out of the smoke-filled room and into the public debate, and instead just give us a nicer puppet show than the GOP one.

By not talking about this in public, they are tacitly approving of the agenda of invading another country, killing 600,000 of their people, 3,000 of our troops, and spending half a trillion of our tax dollars, to increase the profits of a handful of private corporations.

When Democrats start talking about the Cheney Energy Task Force and connect the dots between the oil industry, the neocons, and who exactly is profiting from this war, the American people will demand that it end NOW.

KEY EXCERPTS:

Analysis: Americans say Iraq war over oil

Ben Lando
UPI
January 29, 2007

WASHINGTON -- Most Americans think President George W. Bush invaded Iraq at least partly because of its oil. More than half rate him as "poor" in handling the subsequent war, and nearly all say that this has affected the price of gas at the pump.

The UPI/Zogby International interactive poll of 6,909 US adults January 16 to 18 found 32.7 percent considered Iraq's oil supply a "major factor" and 23.7 percent "not a factor" in the decision to invade the country. Another 40.7 percent were split somewhere in between, while 2.9 percent were "not sure."

The poll, released January 23, had a margin of error of 1.2 percent and comes as Iraq's draft oil law - still mired in factional fighting - has become a main focus of the Bush administration.

http://www.metimes.com/storyview.php?StoryID=20070129-0...

Credit to Hands off Iraqi oil for finding this story.

OIL MOTIVE for Iraq War resources
http://professorsmartass.blogspot.com/2006/09/iraq-oil-war-resources.html


democratic majority iraq war privatization jim mcdermott oil psa production sharing agreement president george w bush oil companies shell bpExxonMobil ChevronTexaco ConocoPhillips republican antonia juhasz greg palast GOP conservative corruption occupation colonialism hydrocarbon law grover norquist jay garner professor smartass iraq peak oil propaganda corporation democracy war on terror public relations worst president ever failure war criminal smartass comments resistance censored news

Bush asks Condi if he can go potty--may need wipies

When I saw this on a news site, I thought it was a joke until I went to the article. You can make out most of the note. It says, "I think I may need a bathroom break? Is this possible (illegible after that)."

I like the question mark, like he isn't sure whether he has to go or not.

This should put an end to any nasty rumors that he is illiterate.

Five minutes after this he was probably bellowing from the bathroom, "Condi, get in here!!! Your president needs wipies. And not so rough this time."

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/050914/ids_photos_ts/r2587077477.jpg/print

president george w bush worst president ever failure war criminal idiot retard closet gay humor comedy funny condi rice toilet bathroom