Showing posts with label religious right. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religious right. Show all posts

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Rudy Giuliani's swan song: Nosferatu
(sung to tune of "Desperado" by Henley & Frey)


Nosferatu...
Sung to the tune of ''Desperado''
(by Don Henley/Glen Frey)

Nosferatu,
Why don't you come to your senses
Ben talking nonsenses, for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
say you are Mr. 9/11,
but you are screwing the victims, you villain
we all know it somehow

Don't you dress like the queen of diamonds boy
Far right will beat you if they're able
You know that finding new wives is always your best bet
But till then your gay friends will set a place at their table
Far right caught you there, they would beat you to death

Nosferatu,
Oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your vain and your hunger, they're drivin' you on
And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just something worth squashin'
Your prison is waitin' and Kerik will welcome you home.


Don't your heart get cold in the wintertime
The voters won't show and the press keeps lying
It's hard to tell when they cover you everyday
but you're losin' all your polls are low
Ain't it funny, they all want you to go away

Nosferatu,
Why don't you come to your senses
Be a lobbyist for defenses, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let some lobby hire you, Wall Street will love you
You better let bloodsuckers love you
Before it's too late...





Tuesday, June 06, 2006

GOP: Masters of the Obvious

Americans should speak English.

Marriage is between a man and a woman.

Flag burning is bad.

Did you ever know someone who had an annoying habit of pointing out the obvious? Like saying, "That looks heavy!" instead of helping you carry it or telling you to do something you were about to do anyway? By grade school, this is usually met with "DUH!" "DOI!" or "No shit, Sherlock." In college, a slightly more diplomatic friend used to say "Thanks, MOTO (master of the obvious)."

Not that I agree with GOP on these things, but when was the last time you felt the need for a law to let you know which language would be most useful to speak? Did you ever get up and wonder if today was a Portuguese day or maybe Hindi?

Were you ever uncertain about which gender to marry or date and wish there was a federal law or even constitutional amendment to clear it up for you?

Were you ever uncertain whether burning the American flag is a sign of respect or disrespect?

Most of us feel pretty competent to figure this stuff out for ourselves. Apparently, a lot of Republicans don't.

In fairness, they will be quick to tell you that they PERSONALLY wouldn't marry someone of the same sex just because it was legal, but someone else might be weaker than them, and their children's sexual orientation is apparently as abitrary as their taste in music or clothes, subject not only to fads but the fad of a distinct minority.

That makes sense though since these are the same people that think their children will forsake their religious beliefs if they don't hear about God during the six hours of the public school day. The parents themselves might become stone atheists if "In God we trust" wasn't on our money so they could pull it out and read it when they start to doubt his existence.

Their thought processes are a closed loop: I have a prejudice, I want society to make it a law, so I can point to the law to show that my prejudice is valid.

They never ask a question that requires evidence or that they haven't already decided what the answer is. If most of us were concerned about whether Terri Schiavo's husband was ending her life while she still had a chance for recovery, we would then want to hear about the tests of her brain activity, see CAT scans, and things like that before we were certain he was doing something wrong. If most of us were vaguely uncomfortable with gays and wonder if gay marriage influenced kids to be gay, we would want to see research by psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and other scientists before we decided it was a legitimate concern,, and we might actually change our minds. Not the MOTOs. They have a prejudice, Pastor Buford and President Bush confirm it, and that's the end of the discussion.

We all have our moments when we are the Sherlock of "No shit, Sherlock," but when someone does nothing but point out the obvious or make rules about things most people were going to do anyway, you begin to wonder if they aren't a little retarded, and rather than argue or agree with them, you try to steer clear of them and put important things on shelves they can't reach.

I don't think republican politicians are retarded. They are just profoundly cynical like an ice cream man who whispers in kids' ears that he'll sell them boogey man protection if they give him their lunch money or let him touch their little brother in the back of the truck.

We aren't doing the GOPs constituents any favors by treating their hot button issues as legitimate concerns any more than we would be helping the retarded kid by asking him if his boogey man insurance is all paid up to date.


master of the obvious

Friday, November 04, 2005

GOP Memo calls religious right "wackos"

This is why abortion won't be overturned: the GOP is using it to drive people to the polls. Unfortunately, Democrats often play this game with left wing cultural window dressing while screwing us on economic issues too.

KEY EXCERPTS:







Abramoff-Scanlon School of Sleaze

By Michael Scherer

....one memo highlighted in a Capitol Hill hearing Wednesday that Scanlon, a former aide to Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, sent the Coushatta Tribe of Louisiana to describe his strategy for protecting the tribe's gambling business. In plain terms, Scanlon confessed the source code of recent Republican electoral victories: target religious conservatives, distract everyone else, and then railroad through complex initiatives.

"The wackos get their information through the Christian right, Christian radio, mail, the internet and telephone trees," Scanlon wrote in the memo, which was read into the public record at a hearing of the Senate Indian Affairs Committee. "Simply put, we want to bring out the wackos to vote against something and make sure the rest of the public lets the whole thing slip past them." The brilliance of this strategy was twofold: Not only would most voters not know about an initiative to protect Coushatta gambling revenues, but religious "wackos" could be tricked into supporting gambling at the Coushatta casino even as they thought they were opposing it.

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/11/03/abramoff/

It's time to get our head out of our asses. School prayer, the flag, the Ten Commandments, aren't going to put food on the table, or get your kid medical care when he's sick. When we decide who to put on the Supreme Court and in elected office, we should be spending more time looking at how they are going to deal with corporate America than those other issues that are used primarily to get our panties in knot.


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Sunday, June 26, 2005

Jesus talks to George W. Bush at his ranch

One day, George W. Bush was walking through woods at his ranch in Texas, and the Lord Jesus met him and walked with him, as Bush said he often did.

“Mr. President,” Jesus began respectfully, “I am deeply troubled.”

“What’s eating ya, beard boy?” Bush said to his Lord and Savior.

“I am deeply troubled because I have seen a country that does not know me. Their people do not follow my ways, and their leaders do not fear God and glorify themselves instead of him. They ignore the cries of their people and add to their affiliction. What would you do to make such a country come to know my love, Mr. President?”

George W. Bush did not think at all, for he was a decisive man who knew what he knew and needed no thought or evidence to tell others what to do. “This leader’s a bad man?”

“Yes,” Jesus said.

“We got to take him out. We’ll give some money to his enemies or even his bodyguards, so maybe one of ‘em’ll air condition his head and take his place.”

“What if no one can do this?”

“Then we gotta invade. We’ll bomb every place that leader ever takes a dump, and tuh make sure they can’t fight back, we’ll blow out the phones, electricity, water, and even sewers.”

“Won’t your bombs hurt mothers and children and even men that hate the leader more than they were hurt by the leader? Won’t the parent who sees his child whose head is reduced to empty flaps of skin by your bombs or the child whose parents and brothers and sisters are killed and whose arms armed burned from his body, hate you and your lord with an undying hatred if you do this, and fight you even more than the evil leader?”

“Jesus, I got that covered. See, we’re going to privatize everything. Everything they ever made, all the minerals and whatnot below the ground, and every plant, drop of water and breath of air above and sell it to my friends. Then they gonna sell—“

“How would that help—“

“Don’t interrupt me, I’m working toward a point, Jesus H. Christ!”

And Jesus was silent.

“After we finish the privatizing, if anyone don’t like it we’ll throw them in prison, strip them naked, and make them bark like dogs. Then we’ll take pictures and threaten to show ‘em to their wives and friends if they don’t do just like they’re told when we turn ‘em loose. If that don’t break ‘em, we’ll rape their wives and children in front of them, so that they know who’s boss.”

“How will that make them love me?”

“We’ll do some religious stuff too. We’ll make them cuss out their false god and say that you’re the Lord, and if they don’t, we’ll throw their holy book on the ground and piss on it. Hell, we’ll make them piss on it. You can bet they won’t be denying you after this.”

“I see. And what would you do with the leader of this country?”

“Well, if we didn’t kill him outright, we got to humiliate him in public. Kill his children and pull their bones out to identify them. Then when we catch him, we’ll parade him around in his underpants, and have a local on our payroll pretend to give him a trial. It’s better not to kill ‘em outright now that I think about it. My pappy says can’t go back to beat a dead dog a second time, so It’s better to let him live.”

“George,” Jesus said, “your plan is more terrible than the wrath my father rained down on Sodom and Gomorrah, the people of that country will repent of their sins, and their leader will be brought low.”

“That’s great cuz I’m a war president. I always got war on my mind. When do we get started? Who is this leader?”

“You are that leader, George. And what you have done unto the least of my children will be done unto you.”

And George W. Bush had no idea what the hell Jesus was talking about.