Professor Smartass

Others have noticed that John McCain bears an uncanny resemblance to Col. Tigh on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.


McCain is the one on the--ah hell, I'm not sure. But one of them is him.

However, the resemblance is more than just skin-deep.

Consider:

Both are cranky old men, still working long after many of their peers have retired or died.

McCain was a POW who was tortured during the Vietnam War. Col. Tigh was a POW tortured by the Cylons and had his eye plucked out.

When McCain was released from Vietnam, he divorced his loyal first wife for a statuesque, blond hottie and has children with her. When Col. Tigh was released by the Cylons, he killed his loyal wife for betraying the resistance to secure his freedom. Later, Tigh hooks up with a statuesque, blond Cylon hottie and impregnates her.

John McCain verbally abused his hottie wife, calling her a "cunt" in public and saying she plasters on her make up like a trollop after she joked about his thinning hair. Col. Tigh verbally and physically abused his Cylon hottie because of his own conflicted feeling about being a Cylon himself.

John McCain thought he was in line for the presidency in 2000, only to be upstaged by the largely untested son of a former president. Col. Tigh took temporary command of Galactica only to be upstaged by Apollo, the largely untested son of the Admiral.

Most importantly, Col. Tigh thought he was a loyal colonial officer only to find out in his old age that he was one of his lifelong nemesis, the Cylons. If others knew his identity, his heroic record would be forgotten. John McCain thought he was a maverick, but finds himself a tool of the worst, most anti-democratic, corrupt, and dangerous president in American history, a man who insulted McCain's wife, his child, and his heroic military service. If the public realizes the degree to which he is a puppet of the same moneyed interests as Bush, his heroic record would be forgotten.

Col. Tigh has a drinking problem, and if I was John McCain, I would too.

I don't think McCain should be president, but since there are multiple copies of each human-looking Cylon, maybe McCain has a future as a guest star on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, playing Col. Tigh's Cylon brother.

Labels: battlestar galactica, col. tigh, cylon, george w bush, john mccain, lookalike, parody, photoshop, saul tigh, scifi channel, separated at birth, worst president ever