SONG: Will watching Brokeback Mountain make me gay?

NOTE: Apologies to any gays or cowboys This is not in any way meant to imply that you are more likely than heterosexuals to be football players, fraternity members, or golfers.

Will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...


Now I know that I aint gay
as I told my football team each day
as we showered and played
snapping towels at each other's wangs...


and my frat brothers told me so
that I aint no homo
as they beat my naked ass
with a wooden cricket bat
while other brothers watched
and next said spill your seed...


will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...


Now every morning I play golf
leave my wife and I sneak off
cause manly men
like hitting tiny balls
and smoking big cigars
without no women who would just get in the way...

and after we have played a round,
I lay my naked body down
and get a full massage
from Bruce, or Buck or Rod
and if there's a happy ending,
it sure wasn't planned that way...

will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...

But looking back at all I sang,
I guess the only thing I'd change
Is I would wear a cowboy hat
with my team, at golf, or frat...

will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...

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