In an effort to end the Russian invasion of Ukraine, President Biden is taking the unprecedented foreign policy step of leading by example and pulling troops out of a country the US has invaded.
As an added show of good faith, he will choose that country at random by covering his eyes and pointing at a map randomly.
When asked by reporters if any countries will be exempt, he said, "Of course! We're not going to give up countries that grow our bananas or cocaine, make our clothes for pennies a day, or have natural resources our extraction companies can profit from. That would just be stupid."
The puzzled press corps asked which countries that left.
"Wherever those Barbery pirates came from, and some of our troops just ran out of gas in Lichtenstein and decided to stay for the Licht festival.
Another reporter asked what would happen if he accidentally pointed to part of the United States.
"Come on, man! We're not going to give up all that stuff we won from Mexico! If we did that, where the hell would we go for vacation? Florida? Jesus, it's too damn humid and the alligators would eat my grandkids.
Speaking of Florida, if I happen to land on that, I will return it to the Queen of Spain, but she's gotta take Trump and that Rick DeMentos or whatever the hell his name it. That's non-negotiable."
